Weaving Threads for Earth Connected Parenting

A Living Codex for Raising Children of the Earth

I distinctly remember the moment I realised that the way we parent could go beyond just being “gentle” or any particular parenting philosophy into something that truly embeds our children in an Earth Centred Paradigm.

It was during one of the darkest times of my life, after my miscarriage, when I was deep in my dark night of the soul about planetary collapse. My son, then three, was building a house for a ladybird. He used blades of grass, carefully arranging multiple rooms, with beds and food. As he worked, he spoke to the ladybird, and in his imaginary world, it spoke back to him. I watched quietly, not interfering, just witnessing this unfolding moment of pure connection and imagination. In my grief, I felt so alone I was finding it hard to even breathe, while he was present, connected and embodied. I learned from him that day and I knew that if I could only seek to prevent his slide into the dominant culture of disassociation, dominance and disconnection then he would be a long way to a completely different, more earth connected way of being in the world than me.

Motherhood, for me, has been like undertaking the most intense degree imaginable. My eldest has challenged every conventional parenting method, I’ve had to completely pull myself apart and put myself back together and really work hard to be the mother he needed. I’ve read 1000s books, taken courses, watched hours of videos, had thousands of conversations with other mothers and elders and sought knowledge far beyond the scope of traditional “parenting.”

I knew early on that no one in my culture had truly parented into the future in the way I felt was needed. I wanted so much to find someone already living this way, someone with a ready-made list of principles I could follow.

But that list never appeared.

So I started writing a book myself, which turned into this Substack and gradually I’ve been using this space to figure things out for myself. Now, after 9 years of seeking, learning, and unlearning, I feel like I can finally offer something to those looking for something to show them how, though not a set of rigid principles or rules. This is a living codex, one that changes, morphs, and grows as we create the future we want to see.

I invite you to consider that we are weaving a cultural basket around our kids, a basket that they will continue weaving across the generations, rather than something we can do perfectly or correctly in one lifetime. These are intentions, not ideals we can fully achieve in this culture without clear attention and focus. There are many nuances around privilege when it comes to our ability to break the cycles we are currently stuck in. Access to green spaces, the ability to offer unstructured play in safe outdoor environments, or breaks from work; all of these intersect with privilege. I've intentionally designed this article to include some examples that are accessible to anyone, with the acknowledgement that not everyone has the same resources or opportunities to do it all.

So, I share this list not as an answer, but as an offering. Read it, adapt it, and let it serve as a starting point for what feels true and possible for your family. As you read it, if there are words or concepts that you feel resistance to, I ask you to sit with that feeling rather than dismiss it. I encourage you to explore why you have that feeling, and go deeper in order to find what is true for you, do not let words prevent you from engaging with the ideas or connecting with nature more deeply. Treat this like a buffet, take what resonates and leave the rest.

I have put underneath practical ways I apply these ideas in our family life. You may have your own ideas. This codex is not set in stone but alive, shifting as we grow alongside our children and the Earth.

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1. Children come into the world whole, and are inherently wise and sovereign.

We honour our children’s autonomy, facilitate their self-expression and create spaces for exploration where their voices and boundaries are respected, free from social conditioning. We trust in their ability to guide their own learning and growth. We collaborate with them to facilitate and guide rather than control or mould. We hold them with love and curiosity as they move through their stages of development at their own speed and we prioritise play.

How: We do not send our children to school. We create plenty of opportunities for unstructured playtime where they can freely imagine, build, and create. We collaborate with them on problems or conflict rather than impose our solutions.

2. Everything is conscious and alive, nature communicates with us through energy, intuition, and subtle signs.

All elements of nature, from rocks to animals, are conscious and communicate with us if we are open to receiving their messages. Children arrive with these intuitive abilities and sensory gateways. We honour and acknowledge their inherent wisdom and seek to open doors to growth in their connection rather than let them slide into disconnection and disassociation.

How: We spent time outside, just being. We find nature in the pavement. We observe and give space for the children to interact in their own way. We search for materials for creativity, rocks for paint, berries for ink and we forage.

3. Time is not linear. Cycles of nature and time cannot be denied.

Time is not linear but cyclical, moving us through seasons and cycles of growth, rest, and renewal. When family life is aligned with these rhythms, it helps us connect more deeply with ourselves and the natural world. Rather than following the linear, productivity-driven model of modern society, this concept of cyclical time helps us ground ourselves in the Earth’s natural flow.

How: We have seasonal ceremonies where we decorate the house, eat, sing and dance and tell seasonal stories. We slow way down in the winter trying not to overbook ourselves by prioritising family, health and work.

4. We are interconnected with all beings, we belong with them, they do not belong to us.

Reciprocity and Gratitude is key to relationship with more than humans. All beings, from the smallest plant to the largest animal, are interconnected. We are not owners or dominators of the Earth but its guardians and contributors. Living with reciprocity, gratitude, and respect for all beings is essential to how we live. We actively seek to deconstruct human supremacy and the unconscious hierarchies of worthiness to life (e.g. insects are less deserving of life than animals) that we are taught through our dominant culture.

How: We make offerings when we enter woodlands and natural spaces. We have mantras of gratitude that we speak out loud to the directions and the elements. We have a family commitment to being guardians of the Earth, which we speak aloud every seasonal ceremony. We have funerals for trees and insects because all life is sacred.

5. Curiosity, reciprocity, and consent are essential in all relationships.

We approach the Earth and all its creatures with curiosity and respect. Conflict is always approached with Curiosity. All beings have the right to autonomy and consent, and we model these principles for our children. We treat our children this way from birth and uphold and advocate for their rights to these things through out their lives. We show them how to ask nature beings before taking, to honour boundaries, and to engage with the more than human world and each other with care.

How: We ask permission for everything that involves our children, we uphold consent as a primary value. Beyond humans, we ask the plants permission before we take leaves and feel into what the answer is.

6. Reclaiming sacred ways of being is powerful activism for our families.

Ceremony and rites of passage are sacred practices that mark significant life transitions, connecting us to the ancestors, the Earth, and the community. These practices help us honour the sacred in all things. We can do this through dance, song, art, ceremony or the simple acts of daily life. We reclaim these practices, weaving them back into our lives as a daily practice.

How: We have rites of passage for each stage of life. We hold seasonal ceremonies. We sing them to sleep at night.

7. Technology is a sacred responsibility.

Technology is a powerful tool that can both connect and disconnect us. Rather than rejecting it entirely, we approach it with intention, critical thinking, and consciousness. We model responsible use and balance its advantages with our need to stay grounded in the Earth and in connection with each other. We consciously acknowledge the harms and the benefits and we embrace nuance, paradox, sensemaking and critical thinking as a part of this practice. We make it a daily practice to recognise when technology perpetuates disconnection and dissocation and return to connection.

How: We have no screen time limits, and instead have a way to collaborate over screens using time boxing. We are conscious about the technical landscape our children play in and research and discuss any inclusions in our children’s lives openly. We encourage active rather than passive engagement; giving opportunities coding and design and choosing games which are about play and creation. We openly model critical thinking around media and content, talking about the nuances of benefits, risks and negatives. We hold the family expectation that if screens impact our relationships negatively we take a break to reconnect.

8. Rooting ourselves in land and community.

We seek to revillage, an act of returning to a collective sense of belonging, mutual support, care, cooperation and shared resources. Healing happens in community, not in isolation. Whether it’s through the collective energy of ceremony, the support of family and friends, or the guidance of elders, we heal together. Our children see that healing and living is not just an individual journey but a shared experience. True strength lies in community and our deep connection to the land where we live. We seek to go deep into the difficult conversations required to be in community together, modelling conflict resolution and emotional presence.

How: We engage with local clothes swaps and community events like tree planting. We build community by organising meet ups and summer camps, where everyone creates and contributes collectively. We deepen close relationships so that they have a range of people they can trust and love.

9. Permission to feel deeply and cultivating the ability to be present with other’s emotions.

Often, we live in a state of disassociation and disconnection because we have not been given permission to fully feel our emotions. We are taught to suppress our grief, anger, and vulnerability in favor of more "productive" responses, we are told to “breathe”. By giving ourselves and our children permission to feel all of their emotions without judgment, we become more in tune with ourselves and by modelling our deep presence with their emotions they grow to know that emotions are nothing to hide or be ashamed of. This practice of emotional validation helps our children to develop resilience, empathy, and a deeper connection to their inner world, as well as to the Earth and others. Sensitivity and vulnerability are not weaknesses.

How: We use art and play to process feelings. We are present with our children’s feelings and do not tell them to stop or breathe. We have family dinners every day and we talk about the feelings we have had that day.

10. Modelling unlearning in order to guide with love and trust not fear.

Many of us have lived in a state of entanglement with others' emotions or carried the weight of unresolved generational trauma. Our culture often thrives on fear, where it is used as a tool to maintain control. As a result, we may struggle with setting clear, healthy boundaries or understanding where our energy begins and ends. By modelling unlearning, we guide our children with love and empathy, rather than fear or control. This process involves recognising and healing generational and societal wounds, practicing energetic hygiene to protect our personal space and emotions, and setting boundaries that honor our well-being and our connections to others. Healing happens through conscious awareness, compassion, and intentional action. Through this work, we create a balanced, loving environment where both we and our children can thrive, free from the limitations of fear-based patterns.

How: We visibly discuss and tell stories of our own unlearning and healing journeys. We show self awareness around when fear is impacting our choices and how to identify if that fear is real and justified.

11. Returning to the land, decolonising and restoring the connections between head, heart, hands and land.

We seek to move beyond colonial mindsets that separate us from nature and each other. We connect and honour indigenous and ancestral wisdom, stories and myths. We model practices that help us to engage with our senses through intuition and active care, seeking to restore our place in the web of life. This is a remembering of ancestral wisdom as well as a progression.

How: We seek out resources, education, content and stories that do not perpetuate the colonial mindset. We model practices for returning to the land and gaining more sovereignty such as art, herbalism regeneration, foraging, gardening, ceremony.

12. Abundance Through Hopeful Action and Focused Intent

Abundance is not just about material wealth but the richness of life, creativity, and connection. There are endless possibilities that exist in every moment, even in times of uncertainty. Where our attention goes, energy flows. when we focus on positive change and take small, meaningful steps, we contribute to a world where there is always enough: enough love, enough nature, enough opportunity to make a difference. By embracing a mindset of abundance, focused intent and hopeful action, we hope our children see that their choices and energy shape the world around them, and that every step, no matter how small, is part of creating a more just and connected future.

How: We create annual vision boards. We have a daily practice of gratitude and intent where we talk about what we want to do today. We attend protests and talk openly about how to make changes.

13. Nature Reverence is a vital daily practice and capability for our times

We embrace humility at the feet of the mountains, the lakes, the woodlands, the rivers and the sea and the ancient wisdom of the Earth. We embrace mystery and awe as a daily practice, knowing that there will always be more questions than answers. We honour grief as a part of the flow of love for life and tend to it together. In grieving, we deepen our capacity to love and connect, finding the sacred in the cycles of loss and renewal.

How: As the adults we seek embodied practices to ground ourselves in the Earth; such as mirror walking, meditation, shamanic journeying, Earth art, foraging, herbalism so that we can forge this path of reverence for our children. We build our own spiritual practices around Earth and Nature Connection and Reverence. We invite nature into our home through plants, crystals, and natural materials, making our living spaces a reflection of the Earth. We open doors to opportuties like barefoot moss walking and paddling in rivers. We give dreams and imagination the same importance as knowledge and logic.

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Parenting in an Earth-centred way is not a fixed path but a fluid, evolving journey, one woven with intention, love, and reciprocity. My hope is that these ideas serve as seeds that you can nurture, adapt, and grow in your own unique way. Together, we are weaving a cultural basket that carries our children, and ourselves, into a more connected future. Thank you for walking this path with me.